My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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