she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
