Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
