We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it's like iHOP with fire
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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