I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
