my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
two words: eviction party
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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