I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize