i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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