I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
