i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
