I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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