it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize