I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
