Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
