Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
