when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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