didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
