he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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