Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
