Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
youre lurking in front of me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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