Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
