My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
