yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You've changed since you got that strap on
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
