My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
