Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
