She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
