If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize