we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
