I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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