Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
