remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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