No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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