I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
