I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
