Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
