No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
