i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
