coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
two words: eviction party
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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