one two three fourrrrnication!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize