Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
