The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
