four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
