i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
