so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize