why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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