I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
