I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
