I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
only if we run a train.
done.
there was a trapeze. enough said
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
