I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
