By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
