When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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