haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
