how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
