My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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